Written By: Jaimie
Age Written: 34. Age Writing to: 24. Location: Aberdeen, NC, U.S.A.
To Her,
Remember how excited you were when you peed on that stick and TWO pink lines showed up? You had been married for several years already, finished college, got your dream job. All of those things were the boxes you had to check off to get here and now you were HERE. You were still so very young, but this pregnancy was so very intentional and anticipated, as most things in your life were. Pregnancy made you feel wonderful. You ran throughout the first two trimesters, you worked full time night shifts, and you made it through all of it–sometimes with your husband home, but more often with him away.
Then that perfect, little, 8 lb 1.2 oz baby boy was born and motherhood became so real. Your body was different, your sleep schedule was different, your showers and eating schedule no longer revolved around you, but around that amazing little being you brought home from the hospital. Friends brought over meals to help make the first couple of weeks easier, your husband got a few days off of work to stay home and work through the beginning of the transition. But eventually, everyone else got to “go back” to their normal while you had this little person your life still had to revolve around. Your husband got to leave to go to the gym whenever he wanted to, but you had to think about when the baby needed to eat, sleep, and play. You had friends in different stages of life who were still worried about what they were wearing to go out on the weekends or where their next travels would take them. You were just worried about timing things right to get dressed on time, feed the baby, make it to the grocery store, and get back home without said baby fussing and causing glances while you were getting your shopping done. You cared so much about how everyone else viewed you as a mother and about all the things you “should” and “should not” do.
Eventually, you realized how good it felt to put that baby in a stroller and get out for some fresh air. You started with walking and transitioned to running. Just like in college, you realized how much clearer your head was after you had gotten outside and moved your body. You started realizing what worked for you and your baby (#contactnapsforlife) and what didn’t (crying it out). And also realized that it’s okay that different things work for different people and their babies.
If I could go back and give you any wisdom I possibly could, it would be that the goal of motherhood is not to “get back” to anything. Motherhood isn’t about returning to anything from before, it’s about embracing the new of the now and all that it means for the future. The mama intuition is a real thing and sometimes you have to tune everyone else out and just listen to it. REMOVE GOOGLE FROM YOUR PHONE. It is perfectly okay to hold that baby for a nap and when it doesn’t work out for you anymore, you will find the resources to transition to a crib nap instead. “Breast is best,” but YOU will feel so much less anxiety if you offer formula too. If your baby is fussy out in public (or, God forbid, on an airplane), take a deep breath and do everything you can to soothe that sweetie, but know that you are doing it for your baby and not for the comfort of anyone else around you.
You have grown into the best mom for your baby and neither of you would be who you are without the other. You have finally moved forward in motherhood instead of trying to return to anything from before and it feels so natural and comfortable now. You’re so strong and you're going to make it through this and enjoy the entire ride. There is so much more to look forward to!
