Written By: Savannah Pate.
Connect with Savannah: IG: @savannahh.pate // website: www.savannahpate.com
Age Written: 33. Age Writing to: 29. Location: San Diego, CA, U.S.A.
Dear Me who still drinks alcohol,
First of all, I love you. Thank you for all the growth, evolution, and tenacity it took to get us on the other side. I like to think of my life in two segments, Drinking Me and Sober Me. Like BC and AD but not as globally significant.
There was always an inner calling inside of me to give up alcohol completely. Subtle at times.. At other times, screaming.
I always thought the version of me who would become sober would be pretty awesome, but I never would have guessed how beautiful our life and how happy our daily baseline would turn out to be from the sole decision we finally made to get sober..
There is only one thing I wish I had done differently in my sobriety journey - and that was to get sober sooner. I wish I stopped at 25.. Hell even 21 when I first had the desire. Or if I was really designing my reality, I wish I never started at all.. But that's not how life works, is it? It’s funny because I always thought when I stopped drinking I would have to GIVE UP EVERYTHING, all the things I loved. But in reality, I've done nothing but GAIN.
I don’t need to tell you what life feels like when drinking because you’re in it. You know it, you live it. I remember how much of a mess it can feel like. I know when you’re trying to get sober, it can feel like something is wrong with you, like you’re defective or different from everyone else. But I need you to know that you are on a path that many are not able or willing to take, but it is YOUR path and it is the most beautiful, enriching path. It may start in a deep loneliness but it leads to the deepest types of connection you will ever know.
And i know it may feel cool or like a good idea to keep going to bars and things, I get it.. but all it did for me was make me feel uncomfortable and judge myself.. and in the early stages of sobriety, we dont need any extra shame.. A little advice is to surround yourself with people who are healthy, workout, go on walks with friends, go to new food spots in the area, make REAL plans, not just going out plans.. It will feel less like you’re being left out and more like you’re actually connecting with people and having sincere quality time.
Also, please know that NOTHING is wrong with you. You are going to feel weird around people drinking, that has nothing to do with who you ARE. Do not question things because they feel difficult, that just means you’re growing.
So here’s a bit about our life now for some encouragement:
● I have a deep relationship and connection with my intuition and with God now and our prayers bring us to tears. My body gives me signals that I now finally know the language of.. I enjoy teaching other people how to connect with theirs too!
● I moved to San Diego! I live a mile from the beach and just a few blocks from the Bay.. It’s gorgeous. Just like we always dreamed of.
● I became a yoga teacher and Reiki practitioner. That was never in the plans. But it has been the biggest blessing for us personally and spiritually.
● My skin is CLEAR. Getting sober allowed you to finally take your health seriously and heal your hormones. We struggled with uncontrollable cystic acne for so long. Confidence is UP! I leave the house every day without even thinking about doing an “acne-check”.. Can you believe it?
● I became a Life Coach! You may think “WHAT, my life is a MESS, how can i coach anyone?” But you grow and evolve into someone whose life isn't a mess, and who CAN bring value to people’s lives in such a beautiful and supportive way.
● I’ve been on a celibacy journey that started when I got sober, crazy right?! It just kinda happened naturally and has been the most healing, liberating experience for me. Oh, and our taste in men has skyrocketed since getting sober too, thank God. :)
● I've taken two solo trips since being sober, I know, bucket list! I also can't even explain how much BETTER traveling sober is. Now we get to meet people (some people become your forever friends<3), surf in the early mornings, all in a safe, adventurous, memorable and FUN way! Plus, no hangovers!
● I make everything happen that I say I will, because I can count on myself to show up for ME, 100% of the time, which was never the case while we were drinking.
I am finally so proud of who I am, every single day, especially because of how far I've come.
And I love you, all of you, every part of you.
I am 2 yrs and 9 months sober today, and in the grand scheme of things I realize this is only just the beginning. How exciting?
I promise you, life is about to get so freakin’ good, my girl!!
